/chat/ - Chat

Hey man.

I forgave you pretty much right after it happened. The problem really isn't forgiveness, I'm pretty quick to do that, generally, unless someone does something really bad. Getting mad at me and calling me names isn't enough to get on my permanent shit list.

The real problem is I was just getting really sick and tired of your shit. This was the third time this exact thing happened, if I'm counting correctly. This particular time was a fair bit worse, which is why I blocked you.

I already got a ton of shit happening to me in my daily life. I'm extremely exhausted with my life and it's various stresses. I really cannot deal with someone who blows up at me every two or so weeks.

You need help. You have either got to stop drinking entirely, or figure out a way to fucking deal with it when you do get drunk. You seem to have a general idea of your faults and issues, but you also seem to have no real desire to become better. While I can't say for certain if you try at all or not, I believe you do try and you want to be better, but you're not doing enough to actually do it. I don't really know what your path even would be, but you really need to figure it out. At least, you need to if you ever want to actually be my friend. I can take it if you fuck up sometimes, so long as I actually see you making an actual effort to be better, instead of just saying you want to. It's a journey, and it can be a long one, I understand that. But you need to actually be walking the path. Take it as a grain of salt if you want, but if you want to be my friend I expect you to be better.

I've been a shitty person in the past. I still fuck up and do shitty things and act badly and be a bad friend. But I try every day to be better and I always make sure the people I've hurt know that. Your apology here does mean a lot to me in that regard, but you've apologized for it before and it's continued to happen. You don't necessarily have to be a better person, but you definitely need to set some rules for yourself so you don't hurt other people when you're in a bad spot yourself.

Honestly, I've been considering unblocking you for a little while now, after I saw you express regret about what happened in a thread here not long after it happened. But I haven't yet because I'm just not really sure if I can deal with you right now. If you want me to unblock you and try to be your friend again, I think we need to set up some basic boundaries and ground rules.

The biggest one, I think, is to not talk to me at all when you're drunk. I have a lot of issues with drunk people in general because of stuff that happened growing up, so it's already uncomfortable for me to be around people when they're drinking, even if they're not actively drunk. But generally I am able to deal with it. Clearly, though, you lose the ability to act even remotely normal when you're drunk and I just really don't want to deal with that anymore.

Anyway, depending on how you receive this response, I'm willing to figure out some other things to make sure this doesn't happen and we can be friends on Discord again.

The main takeaway for you here really should be that I just can't be dealing with this stuff all the time with the way my own mental health is. I think you do have a real good shot at being better if you make the effort to figure it out, but if you can't at least know when to not engage with me, then we can't continue to interact.